Final Lesson!

The title of this post is a little bit of a misnomer as many lessons have been learned throughout this heart-wrenching move, but as we should be in our house in just over a month, it is time to bring this blog to a close as I venture on to something else. As I said, we are soon-to-be in our house. The shingles are on, the framing and windows are all complete, and the concrete is all poured. The siding is next! In fact, I asked the project manager if I could set up a tent in the basement since everything is enclosed, as well as bring a space heater, and he said I could! However, for my family's sake, I must put the pride aside and hold in such excitement until January. That, ladies and gentlemen, leads us to the final lesson--ridding self of pride!

I don't think anyone who knows me would argue that my greatest flaw (I would argue my greatest attribute) is my pride. Now, most people would agree that pride is not always a bad thing, and in many cases people could use more pride in what they do in life. However, pride is what causes many CEO's, pastors, bosses, and parents to lose their edge as they are unwilling to change their ways or adapt to be relevant to modern society. Pride is what causes friction in, and within, the workplace and within families as people are unwilling to compromise, or at least listen to someone else. Pride is what divides this country as those who run it refuse to listen to others. Therefore, pride comes in many facets and in many different areas of people's lives. Here is a quick list of how my "pride" has been shaken:

1)Left behind a job where I was well-respected by students, colleagues, and community (well, at least I make myself believe that) - Take a part time job where I am the low man on the totem pole.

2)Left behind a house we lived in and owned for 8 years - Move to the in-laws' basement

3)Left a full-time job that allowed us to still save some money after paying monthly expenses (However, North Carolina is one of the worst paying teacher states in the nation) - Forced to see my wife have to take a part-time job and forced to pay for health insurance for the entire family.

4)While living away from family has been hard, we have spent the past eight years of marriage leaning on each other and friends, and we have spent the past six years of marriage creating a "family unit" with our three children - Especially because we have been living in the basement, two other adults have now been thrown into the parenting mix, which my wife loves, but not me, the man of pride!

5)I felt I had a clear purpose as I taught and coached track - With a part-time job and uncertainty about the future, career direction has never been cloudier. I always know what to do!

6)Because we were on our own, we learned how to do things ourselves and how to take care of our own needs - Faith's parents are about the most supportive parents a person could ask for, which is great. However, I hate receiving help and view the "too nice syndrome" as stepping on my pride and my ability to take care of my family.

7)Finally, I've been forced to accept the reality that not all people are like me.  That one hurt. While I don't understand why certain people act certain ways and do things differently from me, that doesn't make them wrong. Well, I still hold that some changes should be made, but we are all different for a reason.

(Appreciate the contrast of the Duke blue for the good and the green/brown for the bad.)

The list could go on, but my point has been made. I know not all of you are people of faith, but it's like God saying, "I'm taking all of 'your' things from you and making you rely on me." As Phillipians 2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself." Hello, that's not easy to do!

Am I still a man of too much pride? Absolutely! I still go hide in the basement or go workout so I won't say something (or yell something) that I will regret, but a work is in progress.

Farm Fact:
On dairy farms, cows are often milked 3-5 times a day, with a range of 4-6 hours between milking. That means some early mornings for farmers and leaves very little time to ever leave for vacation.

For those interested, I will be doing some new things with the blog http://pregnancychildbirthandtheman.blogspot.com/

Move Lesson #3 - Be Grateful and Take Nothing for Granted!

Here I am, back in the basement, after a refreshing return trip to our family's roots in Holly Springs, North Carolina. Not only am I sitting in the basement, but it's freezing outside, which is a far cry from the 60 degrees we left behind in North Carolina, but I won't dwell on that. So, inspired by the return trip, I am going to focus this blog on not taking things for granted. However, first I have a side lesson that relates to my last lesson about exercise.

Flag football Turkey Bowl Athletes (Men of Armor)

                                               
    Now, I don't mean to offend anyone by the following statement, but I'm an unfiltered man so here's an honest lesson:
      We went to North Carolina so that I could play in a flag football outreach tournament with the guys from our old Bible study. We should have done much better, but we sucked and of course are all in pain from it. However, at one point in the game an athletic, but overweight man, probably in his mid to late 40's, ran into me as I tried to grab his flags, ultimately falling on top of my head. Now, this would be painful no matter what, but the extra weight just added insult and pain to the injury. So, here's my new thought: Obesity not only hurts the obese and puts their lives in jeopardy, but it hurts others! Having said that, I'm sitting here eating food as I write so I'm not helping the cause.

Ok, let's move to something deeper, that being the lesson of not taking for granted those things that are such integral parts of our lives, things that have shaped and molded us into the people we are today. As I've made clear in just about every post, this move to Ohio hasn't been easy. I know not everyone gets why we moved, but despite some of our struggles through the move, we moved in obedience to what we thought, and still believe to be true, God wanted/s us to do.

Because the we left Ohio Thursday afternoon, and had to return Sunday morning, we left the kids with Faith's parents. This was bittersweet as we know they would have loved to see their friends, but it did not make sense to take them on such a short trip. After eight hours on the road, we arrived in Apex, NC, just ten minutes from our "old" home, and when I looked over at Faith the floodgates opened...for her. Everything we left came back to her, and while we are slowly creating a new home (our literal new home to be done in January!), we still feel North Carolina to be our home. For those two full days, and Sunday morning at church, we both were made ever more aware of two things:
         1)You don't know the impact you have had on others (or maybe better stated "God's impact through you") until you are removed from where you were in life and are able to see the fruits of your labor. I don't say that arrogantly or pridefully, but with humility, as God was able to use us in ways we didn't even know he was using us.
         2)By being made aware of such a truth, we were made ever more aware of how much God blessed us with the people, school, jobs, church, etc. in our eight years as a family in North Carolina. So often we move through life being somewhat thankful for what we have but usually looking forward for something else or something more. We don't take time to reflect on and dwell on the things right in front of us, and we too often don't realize what we have/had until we have moved on.

       My challenge to you would be to think about where you are in life. Are you constantly wanting more, constantly taking for granted those things on which you should place more value, or do you stop and realize that we don't deserve anything we've been given and that everything in your life is there for a reason, whether good or bad, whether temporary or permanent? I dare you to pause today, take time today to cherish all you have.

Farm Fact:
For today's farm fact, watch the following video. It's comical and an interesting look at farm life.

Exercise! Moving Lesson #2

                                                                   Exercise!                                         

                                                      

Some lessons in life are deep, while others can be comical and/or simple every day truths. Today, I'm here to share something I already knew but too often am too lazy to make a necessary part of my life--EXERCISE!
     I have always been an active person and have been in sports my entire life, including coaching track the last 9 years. As a coach I consistently explain to athletes the importance of taking care of their bodies, both through nutrition and exercise. However, like many adults, with job responsibilities, children, and other commitments, exercise is usually the first thing to go, when it really should be a staple of our lives.
     I don't want to bore you, so let's move on to why I bring this up. For the past three years, I have struggled with lower back pain. Unfortunately, it's a structural issue that through physical therapy and through research, I've learned how to manage. I can't completely get rid of the pain/discomfort, but I can manage it, and when I don't, I can definitely feel the difference. By now I should be hearing some of the world's smallest violins playing "My Heart Goes Out to You." Now, as many of you have read, this move to Ohio has not been the easiest thing for me. In order to cope, I have spent many hours at the gym. Unfortunately, no one can tell, but I still have my sanity. As a result, I can honestly say that today, I physically feel better than I have at any point in my last three years, mostly because my ripped, awe-inspiring, six-pack abs and chiseled back are providing great support for my lower-back structural problems. Ok, so maybe not all of that is true, but I do feel much better now than I have in a long time. I share this with you because the simple act of exercising a few times a week, from walking to running, to Pilates, to weight lifting, to any other form of valid exercise, has not only allowed me to keep my sanity, but it has allowed me to better enjoy facing each day as I physically feel ready to attack it (sounds like a commercial). Here are some realities of exercise:

Stats
1)More than one-third of U.S. adults (35.7%) are obese
2)In 2008 $147 billion was spent on obesity related medical costs 
3)Obesity greatly increases risks for heart disease, diabetes, etc., some of the leading causes of preventable death. 
(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)

Lack of Exercise leads to:
1)decrease of energy
2)lower metabolism
3)susceptibility to injury
4)pain that can often be prevented
5)Lack of sexual desire/ability (sorry, I had to through that in there)
                                                           

Excuses and Solutions for not exercising:
1)I'm too sore from moving ---You're sore because you don't exercise! Give it a few days, and you will feel great!
2)I'm too tired---Move more throughout the day. The more you sit, the more tired you get! Ever noticed how tired you are after sitting around all day watching football?
3)I'm too old---If you can walk, then you can exercise.
4)My knees and hips hurt---While there obviously are viable medical reasons why we have body pains, extra weight puts extra pressure on our joints, tendons, and muscles, which leads to pain.
5)"I hate exercising!" You're not alone. Think about all the other things in life that you have done even though you didn't like them, and think of how you/and others have benefited from them.
6)I have a little child I must tend to---Look at the following picture!
                                                         

How to Incorporate Exercise
1)Join a gym - You would be surprised how many "imperfect" bodies are at that gym. You are not alone.
2)There are many great at home exercise programs that require little equipment, money, and time...search on-line for what fits your needs
3)Find things you do enjoy that require movement. Exercise does not always have to be strenuous. Examples include, shopping (walking a lot), cleaning, building things (manual labor)
4)Find an accountability partner. Exercise together and give yourselves consequences if you bail.
5)If you find yourself in front of the TV 2-4 hours every night, you have no excuses! While you watch, march in place, complete some core/ab exercises, get up and walk around, etc. Anything is better than just sitting (and if you're like me you're probably sitting and "eating").
6)Don't look for the closest parking spot. Park farther away, so you will walk farther.

I am no exercise expert, and I don't have all the answers (well, that's debatable), but I challenge you to think about what physical activity you could do that would allow you to physically feel better and that would challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone. An active person walks at least 10,000 steps a day. Do you do that?

Farm Fact:
When you hear the word "tiling" in farming, don't think about stone tiles that we put in our houses. Tiling refers to the draining system for farms, much like the drainage systems used outside of homes to keep water away from homes. Today, plastic tubing generally is used for this.

Moving Lesson #1

Now that we've established North Carolina as the victor over Ohio, it's time to move on because here is the reality: I live in Ohio! I must embrace it. So, now it's time shift gears a little and look at some lessons learned through the whole moving process. Yes, I am going to be standing on my soap box, sharing my inner-most thoughts with you, in order to maybe give you some insight not only into lessons I have learned but maybe to help you learn some lessons yourself. If no one gets anything from the upcoming blogs, I will still feel like I have changed lives, so let me live in my fantasy world. As always, feel free to leave your thoughts and comments. Maybe through those, you could change my life!

Lesson #1 - When we live status quo lives, we get stuck in ruts and the daily grind of life. We don't reach our full potential of what we were created for.

                                                             

           Leaving North Carolina was not an easy decision. First, I'm still not convinced I was born for the cornfields. I respect and honor the rural/farm life, but tractors can only go so fast. I need more speed! And, manure smells! Therefore, during the past eight years, as my family in Colorado has pulled for us to move there, and as Faith's family has pleaded with us to move to Ohio, my desire for the latter move has been minimal, if not non-existent. Before you judge, picture a farmer moving to the beach, or someone from the tropical lands moving to Alaska. It's a culture shock!
           Furthermore, over the past ten years in North Carolina, eight of them being married to Faith, and six of them including children, our family roots were established. We attended a great church where we were very involved and were able to see God touch many lives before us. We had the opportunity to be part of multiple Bible study groups, and from that we have found our closest friends. On top of that, as I've mentioned before, we had great neighbors. We all helped one another when in need, and we spent more time in the cul-de-sac together than most people spend with their neighbors in a lifetime. 
          Now, I don't write all this to make you feel sorry for us for all we've left behind or to put ourselves on a pedestal to show how tough we are that we can leave all that behind (Although, I like both of those thoughts). I write it to say that sometimes what we want and what we are comfortable with are great for a period or time in our lives, but sometimes we need to be challenged to move to the uncomfortable in order to truly grow. I would not say that Faith and I necessarily lived status-quo lives, but I would argue that we at times were too "comfortable" with our lives. Just like in our jobs, when we stick with what is comfortable and stop challenging ourselves, we start losing focus and many times lack the sharp edge maybe we once had.

My challenge to you is, "What in your life could you do to prevent living the status quo life?" Here are some simple suggestions, but challenge yourself and don't be afraid to pray about it.

1)Talk to the neighbor you've never talked to but know you should talk to
2)Stop watching the TV show you know you should not watch but that you continue to watch
3)Apply for that job that you've been afraid to apply for
4)Ask the girl out (What's the worst she do--say 'no'?)
5)Take that risk you keep making excuses for to not take
6)Go on that diet and/or start that exercising you know you need...you will feel better
7)Try a new church if you continue to criticize and complain about where you attend
8)Volunteer where you know you're needed but where you have been avoiding

Those are just a few suggestions, but you already know what you need to do. Act on it!

Farm Fact:
Most corn stalks only have one ear of corn. If there are two or three ears, they will be small as they will lack the nutrients to grow.

North Carolina vs. Ohio: Round 5

Well, I started out thinking North Carolina would sweep the series, and I was thinking it would only last three rounds. However, now it's "Game On" as we're all tied 2-2. The gauntlet has been laid, and this will be the final round! Here we go with round 5!

                    North Carolina                                                    Ohio

0	Equitable teaching salaries across the state. All teachers receive the same state supplement, and counties add to it, so there is not much discrepancy in salaries (although, they are about the worst in the nation)	Levies must be passed and voters hold the power, and there is no equality in teacher’s pay. However, teachers don’t qualify for welfare like they do in NC.	1
1	My allergies were bad in North Carolina, and I quit shots early after three years. However, in retrospect we had a dog, which could have been a big part of the problem!	I was allergy tested, and it is confirmed: I literally am allergic to most farm things, including the mold in the manure! Well, I guess we’re not permanently moving to the farm any time soon.	0
0	City roads are all over the place and go in every ridiculous direction, including circles. I never figured where I was going.	Ummmm, it’s farm land. Roads are straight and everything is in squares.	1
1	There are many growing/active churches.	Yes, there are some I would compare to North Carolina, but the average rural church is a little lacking in life.	0
1	Usually, there is not a negative smell in the air, unless certain people are around.	Rural/farm life means the smell of manure and other grose things.	0
0	Wasted SUV’s. Moms drive around thinking they’re cool, but they’re spending tons of extra money on gas.	SUV’s can be great for the snow and bad weather.	1
0	Kids needed to be in fenced-in back yard, or had to be watched as they played in the street. Cars and people are dangerous!	Kids can run and play outside, all around the house.	1
1	On a personal note, we lived in a house, by ourselves, with not a lot of stress on our marriage.	We currently live in the basement, surrounded by others all the time, dealing with more stress in our marriage than ever before!	0
1	Full-time job, paid for health insurance, friends	Part-time job, expensive, horrible health insurance, stuck in the basement or at the Y Friday and Saturday night!	0

                                 
North Carolina - 5                Ohio - 4
Well, I couldn't pull any more strings. North Carolina comes up with the victory. I never thought it would go this far.
North Carolina wins the competition: 3-2!

Farm Fact:
Farmers and ranchers receive only 16 cents out of every dollar spent on food at home and away from home. The rest goes for costs beyond the farm gate: wages and materials for production, processing, marketing, transportation and distribution. In 1980, farmers and ranchers received 31 cents. (Farm Bureau)

North Carolina vs. Ohio: Round 4

Well, it's been a while. To be honest, it's because I saw no hope for Ohio ever getting another win, so I was figuring I'd just give the win to North Carolina. The depression started setting in of living in the in-laws basement, taking a major pay-cut, and leaving the old life behind (Feel any sympathy yet?). But then, new life arose, and out of the darkness and despair has come some hope. Hence, we move to round four with Ohio fighting desperately for another win to stay in the game. To be clear, an Ohio loss means North Carolina wins the championship!

                                                  North Carolina                                 Ohio                                                    

1	Car rust –This is not a major issue in North Carolina, unless people are by the beach.	Car rust – I’ve noticed many vehicles full of rust, which means one thing – long winters with a lot of salt on the ground	0
	Tractors – Farming is not done in the city…the only tractors around are in the form of toys.	Yes, I finally drove a tractor. It may be the smallest one on the farm, but it is still a tractor!	1
0	Blog readers – You people are far and few between, but I appreciate every one of you.	The blog reader edge goes to Ohio. Just when I was about to end this competition as I saw no hope for Ohio, a fan came out of the wood works at church and said she “loves the blog!”	2
1	No need for depression in North Carolina!	Where’s some Cymbalta or Prozac! There’s sun outside and I’m still depressed!	0
0	North Carolina State, Carolina, and Duke football---Carolina lost to ECU, Duke students study too much, and State is always on the outside looking in!	Ohio State! Hey, they may cheat, but they win!	1
1	Houses – There are a lot of great new houses and options to look at and buy.	Houses – A lot of houses are for sale, and they will continue to be for sale. There’s a reason people don’t want to buy most of them…mold and spindles everywhere!	0
3			4

This round might have been rigged, but it's all tied up: 2-2

Farm Fact:

This is a little different from the typical fact, but I must speak my mind. While not all people living in the country are farmers, many are. Many of those farmers, because they own their businesses, must pay for their own healthcare. Unfortunately, today, due to commercial farming and the media misconstruing information, many farmers struggle financially and can qualify for medical help. However, because some of them are responsible citizens, and more importantly, responsible parents and human beings, some of them carry health benefits while seeking financial help. Here's the kicker: those farmers, and any other citizens in their boat, do not qualify for federal medical help because they already have health insurance. However, many people sitting at home receiving a paycheck from the government because they won't be responsible and go find a job do receive the medical help. (I know there are people who need the help, and those are not the people I'm referring to.) Well, that's enough politics...no more for this blog.

North Carolina vs. Ohio: Round 3!

Well, I'm still recovering from just about being kicked out of my in-laws basement over the "beat down" Ohio took in the last round versus North Carolina. Someone, find us a house! Hey, the facts speak for themselves. I claim I'm simply the messenger, writing them down. We'll see what happens in round three, though. Will it be a Floyd Mayweather punishing beat down by North Carolina, or will Ohio rebound and get some revenge? Here we go!

0	Family – Family can be very important, but the faster pace of life can minimize its importance.	Family – It is very important in the country, whether it be cooking, helping farm, fixing buildings, watching children,  etc.  (On a personal note, I like my space!)	1
1	Food – Food is important, but not everything surrounds food.  Nothing beats Carolina barbecue!	Food – It is very important to the culture, but it is too much the focus of life. People spend all day making food, while missing out on all that is happing around.  Buy it at the store! Save hours of your life!	0
0	Contentment – Too often people in the city are too busy to just stop and enjoy life.	The farm life breeds contentment as often people are detached from, or not as exposed to, all the modern worries of the world.	1
1	Clothing – While people’s dress can lead to vanity, I appreciate seeing people who take care of themselves.	Clothing – Clothing is much more practical: overalls, cargo pants, flannel, etc.  However, extra-large shirts on medium-sized women are way too prevalent.	0
1	In the areas in North Carolina where we lived, people made exercise an integral part of their lives, some for vanity, but many for the health benefits (however, such is not the case in many parts of NC)	I’m treading lightly here, but in the rural areas, exercise is viewed differently. Farming still takes a lot of time, work, and energy, but now that technology is used for so many things, the natural exercise many people used to get is gone.  Taking extra time to exercise is not a priority. (Remember, these are just generalizations.)	0
0	Weather driving – People in NC have no clue how to drive in snow or rain.	Dealing with weather is part of life.	1
0	Tobacco – It is one of North Carolina’s largest and most profitable crops…It can kill!  Nothing redeaming!	Corn – It feeds animals, people, and provides an alternative fuel source. (Relax, I know North Carolina has corn, but not like Ohio.)	1
3			4

Ohio take the Round 3 win! Don't call it a comeback!
Farm Facts:
1)Silos, the tall, round cylinders on farms, hold grain, corn, etc., known as silage.
2)These can be very dangerous to climb in as people have been buried, and often times, because they are airtight, harmful quantities of gas are often trapped in them